Feeling pressured right now?

You’re probably thinking that things are urgent and there’s not enough of something: time, money, energy. If you stop and notice, you’re probably feeling under threat; your fight-or-flight system is active even though you maybe didn’t realize it. You may be flooded with adrenaline. It might be that adrenaline, instead of your own sense of proportion, is running the show.

When you’re feeling pressured, try this: take the pressured feeling as a signal to slow down for a moment. Notice that at this moment in spite of it seeming to be otherwise, you’re actually okay, and things are okay.

(When there is a true emergency, there’s no time for the feeling of pressure. In a real emergency often you will feel, paradoxically, less pressured because everything else except what is actually crucial at this moment, melts away.)

Other peoples’ urgency can be viral. It might be helpful to ask:

Will this be important in 5 years?

Does it actually have meaning for me?

Does it really matter for someone who matters to me?

That feeling of pressure can be a friend in disguise, giving you a chance to come back and touch what you do care about. And… with what matters, you may find that you don’t want to be in a rush. With what matters, you probably want to slow down so you can give it your best.

To get more breathing space in the interaction with somone who is feeling urgent, you might try saying, “This is too important to rush. I want to slow down and do this right.”

Our culture is used to rushing, doing things ASAP, and putting as little time as possible into each thing. When you take time to notice if what you’ve been asked to do really matters, and then let someone know that you value what they’re trying to do, value them, and want to take the time to give it your best, you become a deep ally of what is really and truly meaningful to them.

If enough of us start to do this habitually, we can begin to bring a sense that there is enough time, back into the world around us.